Heavenly Presents

I was getting a little worried.

The baby had not changed in her weight or height for a month. Not since the 22 of October. My midwife was a little worried. She said if there wasn't a change soon, she would have to induce me.

Did you know I wanted to go natural? Absolutely completely natural. I wanted to start on my own, and be completely under my own will power. Hearing that she would have to start me sent a cold fear through my body. Evidently, my baby possibly had something called IUGR (intra uterine growth restriction) which could cause a myriad of problems, the worst being a still birth. A still birth is one of my biggest fears.

So yesterday I went in to get checked, praying that my body had changed, that it had dilated on its own. If it had she wouldn't have to start me. At the appointment she gave me a choice. I could either have the baby yesterday, or I could have her on Monday.

We decided to have her yesterday.

So we decided my midwife would break my water, and if that didn't speed things along I would get the petocin. Did I mention I am terrified of the petocin? Yup. I am. As we were driving to Labor and Delivery I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. I wanted to go home and hide. I hadn't taken any birthing classes, nor had I been good about reading the books I should have. I checked them out from the library, but never really got the chance to read them. But I did read Jane Eyre and a few other books in the meantime, so it is completely my own fault I was scared.

We got checked in at about 10:30. I finished up the paperwork around 12:00 and Christy (my midwife) came in at 12:30 and broke my water. I was still dilated to a 4 and only 80% effaced. However when the nurse checked me, she said 80% was being very generous, she would say I was only a 60%. At any rate, the water gushed out, and Jeffrey and I decided to take a stroll through the hospital. I started to have the same little crampies I have been having since October. Nothing to even complain about.

And then, as we walked down a sunlight stained hall, the contractions hit. They really hit me. Hard. We hobbled back to the room where the wonderful nurse helped me through the contractions. They were about 2 minutes apart. Very soon after that they were about 10 seconds apart. When the nurse checked me I was 100% effaced and amazed at the pain. I didn't know it was possible to hurt so much.

But it didn't last long. Faye Emma was born at 2:03 yesterday afternoon.

To quote an ancient prophet

And oh, what ^ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

I think that about sums it up.

She is beautiful. She is perfect. She was born at 7 lbs 13 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She has lots of dark brown hair and it looks like there is a slight curl in it. Her eyes are a beautiful blue color. Very different from Keith's when he was born. His eyes were a deep grey. Her eyes are a very light but beautiful blue. She has the same mouth as Keith, especially when she cries. I cannot believe how perfect she is and how gorgeous!

And again, I say, how exquisite is my joy!

The Reign of Betty Prevails

My subconscious is getting louder.

And Sophie has officially moved out. Betty has set up permanent residence.

I am settling down for the long haul. This baby isn't going anywhere for a while.

She does need to come soon, but that is another story for another day.

As I tread water in this whirlpool I call life, and the laundry and dishes pile up over top of me, I find short cuts.

This is what we had for dinner last night.



Don't judge. It has been a hard week.

But its okay. I get to see this every day, which makes it all worth it.

Man Cold

I swallowed nails Saturday morning.

The swallowing is what woke me up.

A cold was coming on. I hate colds.

I mentioned the fact to Jeffrey.

He shrugged it off.

Yesterday he informed me he is coming down with a cold. It went something like this:

Snow Haters Annonymous

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Hi. My name is Amy and I was once a Snow Hater.

Hi, Amy!

I know. Growing up in UT, the state that supposedly has the Greatest Snow on Earth, and I used to hate the snow. But I have since turned from my blasphemous ways. There was a time when I equated snow with ugliness and cold. When people began to talk about their love of the stuff, I would always counter with a disbelieveing gufah and talk about the cold and the wet. I saw the world as very grey and cold and dirty when there was snow. I would say (though I had no statistic to back it up) that there were far more traffic related deaths in the winter because of the snow. Snow is a killer. And then 10 years ago it suddenly changed.

I lived in a small mining town in the top of the Rockies where it snowed nearly every day from October until March. And it was cold. I remember the first day I began to like the snow. I was sitting inside alone. The apartment was tiny, but cozy. I had a mug full of rich Stephen's hot cocoa (really, it is the best out there. No disputing that) and eating buttered popcorn. I was watching a movie, but was slightly bored with it. I remember looking out the window and seeing the huge snowflakes falling down so softly. They were quietly covering the last layer of snow that had turned brown from the car exhaust and all the mud from people's shoes. I remember thinking how beautiful it was.

And that was it. It took 18 years before I joined the ranks of the snow lovers, but I am most definitely there.

I love the snow.

I love the huge soft flakes as they lazily fall from the sky. The small fast ones are nice to because they just get the job done. No lazy floating for them, they rush to the ground like an army, advancing and canvasing the enemy territory. They are determined to cover anything and everything.

I love looking up into the sky at night as it is snowing and seeing the grey orange sky. The strange warmth that comes with the snow.

I love when they stick to my hair and my eyelashes. And catching them on my tongue is a delight I doubt I will ever outgrow.

I love making snow angels.

I love the crunch of snow under my shoes.

I love coming into a cozy house after playing outside and running my hands under cold water. The cold always feels so hot, and stings a little as my hands defrost.

I love turning the lights down or off and sitting on the couch sipping cocoa while watching the world change to the brilliant white.

I love snow forts and snow men and snow balls.

But most of all, I love seeing Keith in the snow. He begs every morning to go out and jump in the leaves. We then bundle him up, and he runs out and stomps around in the snow. The delight on his face makes me a child again, and we play. I can't wait until there is enough snow to actually pile up and let Keith toss around! What a delight for him! And then to come in to cocoa and (hopefully) warm cookies or gingerbread... I know, I am an idealist, but he will get that one day.

Heartbreak at the Museum

We have been taking Keith out more ofen. To museums and what not. Wednesday we went to the Dinosaur park where he was only a little afraid. Yesterday we went to the Children's Museum, and today, if all goes well with his nap, we will be going to the nature center.

But yesterday my sweet little darling gave me a very bitter pill to swallow, and I am determined to find a remedy.

He was playing in the room with legos. Lots and lots of legos = hours of fun for my little guy. While up there another little girl was playing. She was adorable! I just wanted to kiss her cute little cheeks and cuddle her, but refrained myself because her mother would probably think I was a whack job. At any rate, she wanted to play with Keith, but eveytime she came near him he would run to me and hide behind my back.

I was so disappointed and sad every time this happened. I encouraged him to play with her, but he refused. Each refusal hurt me a little more. I was mortified of what her mother must think. See, I don't think Keith has ever seen a dark skinned little girl (or boy) before. I have to say, I am not prejudice, nor do I tolerate prejudisim. I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood and had neighbors from all over surrounding my house. Korea, Hawaii, China, Philipines, Mexico, etc. All over the world. Some of my best friends were from elsewhere. My mother was wonderful in helping us understand everyone is wonderful and there is no need to ever treat someone differently because of how they look. Color, capabilities, and intelegence do not dictate how you treat someone. Ever.

And so I saddly watched as the sweet little girl's mother watched my son run from her daughter because she looked different. She then scooped up her daughter and took her to a different part of the museum to play, a place where little boys wouldn't run away from her frightened becuase she was different.

I refuse to let my son be prejudiced. It is not right, and he will miss out on many wonderful friendships if he thinks that is the way life should be lived. I just have to figure out a place that will have children of all backgrounds so he can see them and not be afraid.

Fate's Cruel Sense of Humor

Never tempt Fate. She always wins and has a wicked sense of humor. Trust me, I learned first hand yesterday and today.

It all started with an innocent trip to the grocery store. I was there a loooong time. There was a language barrier problem in the line in front of me and I feel very blessed to have been able to help out a little. However, as I was leaving the grocery store, I felt a little wet in my pants. I knew every eye was on me as I exited the grocery store. I just knew it. I could feel the eyes burning into me, accusing me of zero bladder control which was not the case at all. I rushed out to my car with cheeks burning, very conscious of the cool breeze I was feeling in the nether-regions. There was no soak through, but I didn't know that, all I knew was that it was wet where it shouldn't be. I rushed home and ran straight to the bathroom to investigate.

What I found was a little weird to me. As there is already way too much information, I will skimp on the details but needless to say, I called my midwife's office. I was told it is very normal for a little bit of leakage of amniotic fluid and to not worry about it as there had been so little. However, if there was more I needed to go into L&D.

This morning I had an appointment with Christy (my midwife) who was a little annoyed with her staff when she heard what they had told me. She said if there is any sort of leaking I need to get in as soon as possible and get that baby delivered. She did some sort of test for amniotic fluid, it came back positive. So she sent me to L&D where they did another test and told me if it came back positive I would be going home with a baby.

Oh the anticipation!

I waited for an hour and a half to hear them tell me to go home. It was just a false alarm.

As I left the wonderful nurse in L&D waved and said "See you sometime next week!"

Fate. She is a cruel mistress.

Tragedy Strikes While Making Rolls

Rolls. It sounded delicious. I wanted some. I found a sweet recipe that was simple, didn't take much time and would go perfectly with dinner. I decided to make them.

And then I had a pregnant moment.


Yes, that is an egg in the can of powdered milk.

Oh how I miss my brain!

Who? The Doctor

Still waiting.

To help the time go by faster, I will reveal my new obsession.

When we first got married it was The A-Team.

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We loved that show. Lots of action, and no one ever gets seriously hurt. No one ever gets killed. We even talked about buying a black van and painting a red stripe down the side and putting a spoiler on the roof just to show we loved it that much. But one can only handle so much of the same plot. We grew weary of our Team and slowly stopped watching it. We have been looking for a new obsession ever since.

But we have such different taste in things, it has been a long obsessionless year.

And then a few weeks ago, we unwittingly stumbled on gold.

We were watching the Red Green Show (who doesn't love a little Canadian Guy humor?) It ended and we just didn't want to go to bed. Nor did we want to watch the Red Dwarf which tends to be a little dirty, so we put the volume on mute and chatted for a bit. We were about to turn the television off and go to bed when the music stopped us.

It was reminiscent of our child hood. The blue box floating in the vortex. My pulse quickened and then the title flashed across the screen:

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We decided to give it a try.

It was very easy to make fun of, and very entertaining to watch. Since we hadn't seen any previous episodes, we didn't know any back stories, we weren't sucked in and were able to just watch and laugh. Wonderful! The next week we waited in anticipation.

11:00 Saturday night came around and found us in front of the telly with all the lights in the house turned off.

Not smart.

During that particular episode I hid behind Jeffrey's back for the majority of it. It scared me. Nothing gruesome or bloody, just creepy. It was the one with the Weeping Angel statues. source

They didn't even kill the people they crept up on, just sent them to a different time where they had to live out the rest of their lives. But they crept up on you when you weren't looking! It was so creepy. I still can't look at a stone angel without getting creeped out. I didn't want to turn the lights off that night. I didn't want to go to the bathroom alone. I didn't want to be alone for a second. It was hard. I didn't think I would ever watch another episode. (How many times can you use the word creep or a variation of it in a paragraph? I may have just broken a record.)

And then the next Saturday we were sitting in anticipation of The Doctor. All the lights were left on. I didn't want to take any more chances. This was a trial run. If it creeped me out too much, I wouldn't watch it anymore.

But it wasn't creepy again. It was interesting. It was thought provoking, and it was to be continued. How could they leave me wondering what happend? But Saturday night we were tired. So we went to bed early. We had some good pillow talk (I swear, that is the only time I get real conversation out of Jeffrey. Right before we go to sleep... and he hates it) and as we were about to go to sleep, I looked at the clock and said

"It's eleven. The Doctor is visiting again."

Jeffrey sat up in bed, and in an excited voice said "lets go watch it! Come on."

I was too tired. I wanted to sleep. He prodded a little more, and so I finally told him.
I had set the DVR to record it a couple of hours prior. We could watch it another day.

I must confess. I watched it.
And the sequel. That is why the internet is so great. You can watch old television shows on it and don't have to be left hanging when it say "To be continued..."

I know that we are going to be watching some more of the good Doctor tonight after Keith goes to bed.

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There is no better way to pass the time than cuddling with your husband and either laughing at the overly exaggerated facial expressions of The Doctor, or scaring yourself silly with some good sci-fi.


And yes, I am well aware of the fact I need a thesaurus and a new word for creepy. :) I was out to break the record for how many times it could be used in a single post. Guess what. I won! To my knowledge anyway.

Water, Water, Everywhere!

I know, enough with the pregnant stories already! But bear with me. It seems it is influencing every aspect of my life right now, and so that is basically all I have on my mind. Besides, I need to remember how I feel this time so next time when I am 11 months pregnant I can look back and say "Oh yeah, I remember that."

The house was quiet. I knew that I only had one chance to shower. I also knew if I lingered, my chance would come and go faster than a sneeze if I didn't act immediately. I grabbed my terry cloth robe and quietly stepped into the bathroom. I had to be quiet because Keith is a light sleeper and was just on the other side of the wall. I visited "my friend John" and relieved myself, then stepped into the shower, once again enjoying the heat as it pricked my skin. I love hot showers! I love letting the water fall over and around me, the steam slowly rising up and filling the bathroom like a symphony. That is one of my favorite things in the world. With my eyes closed I stood and let the stresses that had been building up just wash off and disappear down the drain. Suddenly I felt it. An extra rush of water. My eyes popped open and my shower was ruined.

I didn't know if my water had broken or if I had just had some extra liquid stored up in my bladder. I didn't feel that familiar urge at all, but it hadn't been enough water to warrant going to the hospital saying my water had broken. Nor was I feeling any pain. My mind rushed through every possibility and worry, expectation, and excitement crawled out of the drain they had been washed down, and back up to perch on my shoulders like stresses will do. My mind had a new obsession. I finished my shower much quicker than I had hoped to, and called Jeffrey just to give him the heads up. If my water had broken, I would probably have to rush to the hospital. But I wasn't having any pains. So I had to watch. And all the peace and tranquility I was hoping for took one last look at me and left, laughing.

What had happened? The nearest I can figure is the baby jumped just right on my bladder and forced liquid out of my body, thus creating a sensation like broken waters. But really, I can just go down in the books as yet another pregnant woman who had the false alarm. The "I thought my water broke, but really I just peed my pants" story. And now I am open to mocking. For this time only. As I know that most pregnant women go through this, and I am not alone, and there are probably a million and a half stories similar yet worse than mine. I am just glad I wasn't standing in line at the grocery store. And I hope it doesn't happen again, because really, no warning at all.

I am an Elephant

I went in for another check up today.

As I drove home I remembered a night two weeks ago. I was sitting on my bed. The lights were out, Keith was in bed and it was our time. Jeffrey had been studying in the living room and I was sitting in the mess I like to call my bedroom. I looked around me and the hormones kicked in.

Or I should say the tears started to flow.

Jeffrey heard the sniveling and came into the room. He tenderly took me in his arms and just held me tight (isn't it wonderful how that always works?). He asked me why I was crying (he is very patient with me) and waited as I tried to control myself enough to verbalize my fears.
Trying to say it out loud made it worse, though.

"I am going to be p-p-pregnant forever! I don't want to be pregnant anymore. I-I-I am an elephant! I am going to be pregnant for 18-22 months, and she is never going to come. It's just a me-me-mean joke being played on meeeee. I am never going to hold her, and am going to walk around with a huge belly, dropping things, runn-i-i-ing into things and always pregnant for the rest of my liiiiife!"

As I drove home today, these very thoughts were bouncing around my head.

She is measuring 38 weeks 5 days. 7lbs 6 oz and as comfortable in that little uterus as she could be. No signs of ever wanting to leave (could this possibly be a foreshadow of when she grows up and doesn't want to move out when she is older?). I have basically had no change for three weeks. I have been at a 4 and 75-80% effaced this whole time.

I guess technically she isn't due until the 30th of November, and I would prefer she be completely healthy when she is born, so if that is what is necessary, she can stay in there, but really? Why did my body have to start giving signs of an eviction? Soon?

So I have been home for a few hours now, and had the munchies the whole time. Nothing seemed to fix it. I ate cereal, cheese, water. Nothing was taking the munchies away. And then I figured it out. My body wanted something I really don't like. Chocolate! So I dug into the freezer and pulled out the chocolate chips.
Blech!
I really didn't like them at all.
And then I remembered it.
A king size Snickers hiding away in the closet. It was being saved for the rush to the hospital. I hear they don't let you have food. My midwife said I could have some so long as no one saw it. The nurses would freak out.
It was calling to me. Reminding me that I am an elephant. The candy bar will be old by the time the baby is born, so I might as well eat it now.
And then I ate it.
And all was right with the world.
I can be patient again.

Keith's Prediction

Keith is warming up to the fact he is going to have a little sister.

Sunday my sister in law gave me some baby clothes. She has two girls, so she had lots to share. As I was sorting through them that night, Keith patted the pile of clothes and said "Baby sister's!" with no prompting from either of us.

He has begun to watch babies more closely whether they be on a cartoon or a doll or real.

During lunch today Keith rubbed my tummy and looked up at me with his huge blue eyes. He had a smudge of dirt on his nose which made his eyes look bluer and larger.

"Baby coming, Mommy. Baby coming." He told me.

And I can't help but wonder what he means by that. Does he mean today? I know she is coming soon. But could he possibly know when she will join us? After all he said it so earnestly, and little children are known to be more in tune with the spiritual things.

Keith's prediction: "Baby coming."

Remember the Red Revolution

Magic.

Do you believe in it?

I do.

One of my Resolutions was to exploit my womanly charms and thereby my husband.

See, I like vintage.

Anything from 1920-1959. I just adore those times.

I love the bold lipstick they wear.

So I decided I would wear red lipstick more often.

And wouldn't you know, when I wear it, I get whatever I want.

Last week I put it on right before I left to pick Jeffrey up from the bus stop. He got in the car, looked at me, and then announced we would not be going home. I would not be cooking dinner that night. My man was going to treat me to anything I wanted on the dollar menu at Burger King. Anything I wanted.

And that is how it goes. The red lipstick still works its magic for me. But I don't exploit. That would be wrong. :)

What Happened When My Navel Moved Out

I have a hypothesis.

I believe the changing of the bellybutton creates changes in that person's balance, center of gravity, and even memory.

Allow me to explain.

I have had an innie my whole life. I rather liked it. It was not just your regular innie, either. It was a deep one. I could put my pinkie finger in it up to the first knuckle. I loved that. It made me a bit of a freak, but I am the only one I know who could do it, so I was proud of my little innie.

And then I got pregnant with Keith. The belly button moved outward. It never became an outie, but it was a lot closer than ever before.

During my pregnancy I noticed I had lost my brain. My mind no longer worked, and I couldn't even remember names of people I had known my whole life. I took a nutrition class on line. It was horrible. I think I got the worst grade of my life in that class. I couldn't remember anything I had learned. I am not even sure I did learn anything, though I tried hard. But I didn't trip on things, I didn't fall over, I just had frequent brain farts.

And then it came back to me as my navel returned to its original place.

And now I am pregnant again.

This time my belly button has completely moved out of its little cave. It waves to the world through my shirt, letting everyone see exactly where it is on my stomach.

This time around, I have balance issues, clumsiness problems, and my mind has long since left me to fend for myself. I have the worst time coming up with words now. Even simple every day words. Like the word door. I am found stuttering

"That thing. You know, the one that closes? It is on the house. You have to walk through it to get inside or outside. That thing!"

and people are left wondering about my sanity.

I have broken nearly half of our dishes as I tried to clean. I have dropped dinner on the floor many many times. I have knocked things over with my belly, along with flailing arms. I have nearly fallen off the porch at my parents house simply by trying to walk in through their... you know, that thing. I counted today, and I have tripped and fallen no less than four times. I have bruises on my arms legs and belly.

And all this because my belly button decided it wanted to move out and see the world.

I can't wait for it to grow lonely and move back in. I don't think my body can handle the bumps and bruises, our stomachs the floor flavored food, or the people around me the constant forgettence (I can't remember what word to put here so instead I made up my own. Really. I am not just doing this to prove a point. Besides, who says forgettence can't be a word?) of words.

Come back, little belly button, come back! I need you! I never knew what an important part of my well being and sanity you were. I promise I wont neglect you ever again just let me have my brain and my balance and grace back!

What about you? Does your belly button change your .... and I forgot the word again.

I was going to google some images of belly buttons, but got a lot of inapropriate pictures, so decided to leave it. Besides, everyone knows what innies and outies look like.

Festivities Wind Down

Whew, that was a wonderful month, wasn't it?

Candy, ghosts, bats, monsters... Keith learned about them all!

And now, to help recover from the sugar high, Pumpkin seeds are highly recommended.


With a side of apples and carmel. Enjoy with a glass of wassail.

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Yummy!

What do you do to calm down the blood from all that sugar?

What I Learned from Halloween 2009

Just a few random things before we close out of this wonderful month.

• When making torches, don't use socks, sticks and lighter fluid. The socks fall apart.

And make sure you read the signs around before making them.

• My local grocery store gives away all the unsold pumpkins on Halloween night. All you want! And they sell a dozen glazed donuts for $5.00 because they seem to be a hot commodity. Lesson... donuts are better to buy before hand. Pumpkins... buy a ton the day of and have a carving fest. That is something I should keep in mind for next year.

• The cold really isn't that bad. Gardner Village the day before Halloween is very crowded, but fun. The witches are so unique, and Keith didn't want to leave. Next year we will go earlier in the month and later in the evening. Simply delightful!

Happy Halloween!

The Dark Side of Halloween

*Updated with picutres*

It is dark outside. The icy white moon is bathing the street in a cold stare. Trees have stretched their shadows out providing ample space for dark lurking forms to glide almost unseen through the streets.

A witch is seen scurrying from the revealing eye of the porch light. A ghost is running after a tall man walking down the road. A sound that seems displaced echos through the night. Laughter. Children's voices exclaiming as they bounce around from the sweets pulsing through their veins. Shortly they will go home and laps into a sugar induced coma.


This is when all things dark and vicious come out. The witches and ghosts and goblins pry the masks off their sticky faces. The princesses, Hulks, and zombies wash the paint to reveal sweetly smiling children. But do not be fooled by their disguise in a disguise. While out pillaging the neighborhood of all things sweet, they really did morph into something quite chilling to behold. Until the parent says "Its bedtime. I am glad you had fun. Now put the candy away and climb into your bed and go to sleep." they look like children. But they are not. And when the realization hits home, even the bravest parent wishes they could turn back. The frigid grip of regret has hold of their hearts and makes parents grateful this holiday only comes around once a year...


Last night we had a small taste of this fear. It was my mother's ward Trunk or Treat. Keith was Mario (I didn't get a great picture of him. He wouldn't hold still. I am going to try again tonight) and caught on very quickly. All he had to say was "Trick or Treat" and people would give him candy. He would then say "Thank you" and they would give him more candy because he was so polite and cute. He knew how to work the system. He carried that bucket around with him as if he held The Ark of the Covenant. No one was going to get close to his candy. After collecting with the vengeance of an IRS agent he became a shadow to his Paca while religiously guarding his candy bucket.


Finally it was time to go home. He fell asleep in the car, we got him in the house, and as we changed him into his pajamas he woke up. The first word out of his mouth was "Trick or treat?" Meaning, "Where's my candy?" We told him he could have some more in the morning when he woke up, and that is when it happened. The transformation. From sweet cuddly angel to Halloween Demon faster than the blink of an eye. He hasn't changed back yet. He is armed with a two year old attitude and a bucket of candy.


And there is more Trick or Treating to be done tonight.

Whatever will we do?

I was Hester Prynne from Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter for Halloween this year. You know, the girl who had to wear the Scarlet "A" for "Adulteress." Did you see the "A" which fell off right before the picture was taken? Only about 5 people got it but I thought it was funny. What were you for Halloween?



P.S. No, she hasn't been born yet. I have just been crazy busy and haven't had time to post anything.

And my computer is having major issues, so I will post the pictures as soon as I can fix it.

Boo Hoo

"Ghost. Ghost open door. Open the window. Ghost open it."

This has been the topic of Keith's conversation for the past two days.

Cute, right?

I thought so too.

That is until last night.

It was bed time. The typical stalling tricks were tried.

"Mommy, drink. I need drink.
Oh, Bear.
Hug Daddy.
Cuddle. Cuddle on couch."

Finally I got him into bed. I was tired. Exhausted. Looking forward to cuddling with Jeffrey for a while and then going to bed. All the lights in the house were out. Just the soft orange glow of the Jack o' Lantern, a large loveseat, and Jeffrey's arms to cuddle into. The perfect ending to my day.

Petrified scream
Pounding on the door

Jeffrey and I looked at each other trying to figure out if it was another antic to get out of going to bed or if it was a real scream. We didn't know exactly what was going on in his little mind. Normally he is so good about bed time. We brush teeth, sing, say prayers, and then he climbs into bed with a kiss. Normally he stays there all night, and doesn't try to get out of going to sleep. What was going on?

After about 20 seconds of listening to the screaming, I decided it wasn't a normal "I am just throwing a tantrum and want to get out of bed" scream. I opened his door and was nearly knocked over by frantic blur.

"Daddy, Daddy!"

Confused we let him cuddle with us on the couch until he calmed down.

Cuddling with Jeffrey and a squirming, crying toddler wasn't my idea of relaxing. Sigh. I tell you, a Mother's day never ends.

We tried to pick him up and take him to bed a few times, but every time we tried to even pick him up (he is a smart kid. He knew what we were going to do with him) the frantic crying would start again.

We sang until we were hoarse. We cuddled until our eyes were drooping. Finally we got him to bed. That isn't to say asleep, just to bed. I stayed with him rubbing his back and singing softly until he fell asleep. Then I crawled out of the room. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me the crying started.

Three times.

Finally he stayed asleep and I was able to crawl my tired bones into my bed.

No sweet cuddling with Jeffrey for me.

Lots and lots of cuddling and singing and loving for Keith.

Just as important.

We decided that he is probably too young for Halloween this year. He must be afraid of ghosts.

The thing is, he kept asking for ghost songs. Ghost stories. Ghost ghost ghost.

So what is it that was scaring him so much?

I get whatever I want

Jeffrey and his friend Al were talking the other day.

Al is a little weird, but they are tight none the less.

As they were talking dating in this economy came up. My cute husband told his friends of the undying devotion he has for me and how he still can give me whatever I want.

So Al wrote a song about it.

It is basically word for word what I hear from Jeffrey every day. No alterations were needed!

He is that romantic and wonderful.

To Whom it May Concern

Dear Amy,

The nice thing about not knowing when the baby is coming is you have to live in a state of readiness. This should be a great growing time for you. For example.

• The house must be clean at all times.

You never know when the baby is coming, and if someone has to come over and watch Keith suddenly, you don't want to be embarrassed with a dirty house. I mean really, how hard is it to keep clean? It is just you, your husband, and a toddler. Easy peasy!

• You must have your bag packed and ready to go starting now.

I know you like to procrastinate, but listen, now is the time to get past that habit! You need to have your cd all ready to go (did you make it yet? You know, the one with all your favorite calming songs to play while giving birth.) Do you have enough clothes for the baby in the bag? What about toothpaste, toothbrush, etc? Did you even think about those things? And diapers. She has to wear something, you know.

• What about the time you need to spend with Keith?

You can't spend all your time getting ready for the new baby, you know. You have a small child who needs a lot of your attention. Are you going to make pumpkin cookies with him? What about pie? What about carving that pumpkin with him? You know he will love pulling out the slimy seeds. And then roasting them. Don't forget your son!

• Did you get a bed for her yet?

• What is your family going to eat while you and baby are at the hospital?

• Are you even close to being ready?
  

Sincerely worried,
Your Subconscious.

Dear Subconscious,

Thank you for your kind letter of stress. It was just what I need. More stress. But, that is why you are here, always looking out for me. In response to your many queries, I first have to say, you are just plain annoying. Can't you go bother someone else for a while?

I know my house needs to be cleaned. I am working on it. You try keeping things spotless while you are sick (blasted cold that is going around!), taking care of a sick toddler who insists on sharing everything with you (which would account for both of you being sick), and loves to mess up whichever room you are cleaning. It isn't easy. I am working on it! My mom came by last week and like the angel she is, braved the mold growing leftovers in my refrigerator and got it all cleaned out. I like to just open the door and look at it now. It is beautiful and doesn't emit any more foul smells. What a wonderful woman she is!

I plan on getting my house clean today. Completely. But here is the clincher. I have a bad SI bone. It hurts to walk. Really. It hurts to move my leg. So that hampers my cleaning ability. But I am determined to get it done anyways.

See, I have today all planned out. I just finished packing a bag for the hospital... with the baby's things anyway. I am going to get the house cleaned up. The oven is on self cleaning mode right now, which means in three hours I can clean it out. It will take a lot less time this way. While it is cleaning itself out, I am fold and put away the five loads of laundry that have been waiting on my living room floor for the past three days. I just don't like folding and putting away clothes. My goal is to get all the cleaning done while Keith is napping. When he wakes up we are going to make cake mix cookies (he wont know the difference. Really. He just likes to lick the bowl), and then gut that pumpkin!

Now excuse me while I go pretend to dance to Halloween music (see my playlist on the left sidebar)(pretend=can't walk much, remember?) and drink hot chocolate because it is snowing! The first snow fall of the season. Even you can't begrudge me that, oh dear Subconscious.

Happily ignoring you,

Ta Da

The much needed and awaited for dresser.

Really its more of a night stand, but it will have to do for now.


I love paint. I am actually having a hard time not going through my house painting everything. I do have a list of things that are going to get it though.

And the distressing! I was a little distressed (hehe) about taking any of the paint off, but now I am glad I did. It has a nice antiquated look, and I have a great feeling of pride and accomplishment.


Next on my list (with no time constraint) are the toy chest, Keith's car table, the tv table, and anything else I can get my hands on!